A Moment of Clarity

My brain will not let me sleep until I record this. Our stake (a unit within our church) is putting on the musical production "Savior of the World" that was written and put on in Salt Lake City during the Olympics (and still plays every year at Christmas-time). It is a depiction of Jesus Christ's birth and resurrection. It's pretty awesome. Anyway, I am in the pit orchestra for it and tonight was our first rehearsal of the second act (The Resurrection) with the cast. I was watching as much as possible when I wasn't playing, and it came to a scene where the apostle Thomas finally gets to see the Resurrected Savior. Thomas was talking to the other apostles when suddenly the Savior appears behind him, calls him by name, and gently touches his shoulder and turns him so they are face to face. When Thomas turns around, recognition immediately dawns and he crumples at the Savior's feet. As I was watching the scene, I was overcome with the Spirit and couldn't stop crying (even when it was time for me to play!). Anyway, I can't get that scene out of my head and I think it has finally occurred to me why it had had such a profound effect. I know the men representing both Thomas and Jesus. I think it hit me so hard because knowing them made it so personal to me. That scene wasn't just between Thomas and Jesus, it was between friends. MY friends. That could have been ME. Through any doubts or fears I've ever had, the Savior has been MY friend, and He is waiting patiently for the day that He can truly manifest Himself to me. I've seen so much evidence of His existence already in my life. I don't *need* to see. But someday, no matter if I've doubted or not, He will call my name. He will embrace me, just like he did Thomas. Oh, how I yearn for that day!